When someone you love so much goes to heaven there isn’t a day that goes by where you don’t miss them. Some days are inevitably harder than others. This will be my second holiday season without my grandpa. I think last year I was still in shock because this year seems so much harder.
My grandpa loved Christmas just as much as I do. My grandparents always had the largest Christmas tree EVER. It was 12ft because grandma nixed mine and his idea of a 15ft tree. Seeing that tree coming down the lane to their house can instantly bring a smile to my face. He spent weeks decorating it just perfect. And what gets me is that this year that tree will be missing in window just like he will be missing at the dinner table.
This realization will never get easier. So many of the Christmas traditions he made, such as our stockings filled with lottery tickets will be missing. So yes I am sad and mad that I cannot have the same traditions I had for 20+ years of my life. I hear that Christmas song and the tears flow. All the emotions and feelings are raw.
I know he wouldn’t want me to be upset. He would still want me to love Christmas and get excited. That is why most days I try to push on and still see all the magic Christmas still has to offer.
And the most SPECIAL individual I will ever know, and am lucky enough to call my grandma said the most eye opening thing. She said “When life changes our traditions will change too.” I probably was not ready to hear that right then because I am bad with change, but she could not be more correct. This will be the key to making Christmas a joyful time again.
So as a family we will always miss him and especially during the holidays, but we will still be happy and make the most of them because that is what he would want us to do. So I will put up my tree and decorate it with the precision he did with his tree. I will listen to our Christmas songs we listened together and smile because he taught me the love of Christmas. Then we will send up our Christmas toast to him.
PEACE, LOVE, and BLESSINGS!