Y’all let me tell you I STRUGGLED! I wanted to lose the weight, be active, and be healthy. It just seemed nothing worked. I would go all out for two weeks eating my chicken, vegetables, and rice. Then like most of us I got bored and would quit. I would then binge, and eat everything I was depriving myself of for the past two weeks. Has this happened to you!?
So when I tried on my bridesmaid dress, and it was too small I knew I needed to do something. The wedding was 6 weeks away, and I needed results. I had a dear friend who had a lot of success with Weight Watchers, and encouraged me to join. She told me if I was devoted she thought I could fit into the dress.
Goal 1 was ACOMPLISHED! I fit into the wedding dress.
Though Weight Watchers has been so much for me! I could still eat my weekly McDonalds! Say what? I can eat McDonald’s and still lose weight?
Yes, and I did that. I NEVER once deprived myself. I have eaten and drank everything I have wanted to. Just in moderation of course. My meals got smaller and I didn’t eat french fries as often, but when I had the itch I scratched it. I needed something to help guide to me to lose, and something I could do for the rest of my life. I have now lost 50 lbs with Weight Watchers.
I will forever be thankful for my “lifestyle” change:
- I can still eat the donut
- I can still have wine
- I can still eat Pizza
- I can still eat McDonald’s
MODERATION IS KEY!
There is absolutely nothing I CAN’T have, and that is why it works for me, and continues to work for me!
Each day you cross my mind.
I think about how much I love you and miss you. How much I wish I could tell you about all the things happening in my life. I want to tell you all the good, and all the bad. I wish more than anything I could hear your calm voice giving me the very best advice.
Most days it is bearable. I realize life isn’t fair, and I got a crappy hand when God decided to take you early. But most days I’m ok with the fact that I know you are still walking beside me even though I can’t physically talk to you or see you.
Then there are days like today where I miss you so much it is almost unbearable. I see a photo of you and a tear falls because all I want is to feel your hug. All I want is to hear you voice that can instantly calm me.
Days like today I am angry that God took you too soon. There is so many memories you are not here for. So many things I need to talk to you about. So many things I want your advice on.
I know tomorrow is a new day, and it will be better. But for now, I just want to be mad and miss you a little more than normal.
I miss you my guardian angel.
Why is that if you are physically ill that it’s almost a requirement to seek help, but if you are mentally ill that it tends to be looked down upon?
As most of you know it’s been a year and a half since my grandpa passed. Seemingly on the outside I look ok. I even have gotten physically healthier, but I have gotten mentally sicker. Yes the gym helps, but not always enough. That is why I made the choice to seek a medical professionals help and make my mental health a priority.
I have only been going for two weeks, but I have to tell you it has helped so much. I’m not cured or amazingly better, but I have to tell you I have come to some pretty good conclusions while talking with my therapist. I know this is exactly what I needed to get mentally well.
So if you aren’t mentally feeling your best it is ok and highly suggested to get the help you need. I truly have felt a weight lift from me. So go give it a try! Your mental health is just as important as your physical health!
When someone you love so much goes to heaven there isn’t a day that goes by where you don’t miss them. Some days are inevitably harder than others. This will be my second holiday season without my grandpa. I think last year I was still in shock because this year seems so much harder.
My grandpa loved Christmas just as much as I do. My grandparents always had the largest Christmas tree EVER. It was 12ft because grandma nixed mine and his idea of a 15ft tree. Seeing that tree coming down the lane to their house can instantly bring a smile to my face. He spent weeks decorating it just perfect. And what gets me is that this year that tree will be missing in window just like he will be missing at the dinner table.
This realization will never get easier. So many of the Christmas traditions he made, such as our stockings filled with lottery tickets will be missing. So yes I am sad and mad that I cannot have the same traditions I had for 20+ years of my life. I hear that Christmas song and the tears flow. All the emotions and feelings are raw.
I know he wouldn’t want me to be upset. He would still want me to love Christmas and get excited. That is why most days I try to push on and still see all the magic Christmas still has to offer.
And the most SPECIAL individual I will ever know, and am lucky enough to call my grandma said the most eye opening thing. She said “When life changes our traditions will change too.” I probably was not ready to hear that right then because I am bad with change, but she could not be more correct. This will be the key to making Christmas a joyful time again.
So as a family we will always miss him and especially during the holidays, but we will still be happy and make the most of them because that is what he would want us to do. So I will put up my tree and decorate it with the precision he did with his tree. I will listen to our Christmas songs we listened together and smile because he taught me the love of Christmas. Then we will send up our Christmas toast to him.
PEACE, LOVE, and BLESSINGS!
We have all had those days where we wake up late or just in a bloody bad mood. Try these five things, and see if they help you wake up and have a better day.
- Pick out your outfit the night before- Nothing can start your morning off the wrong way then not being able to find an outfit that you feel confident in. That is why I try and decide what I am wearing the night before. It takes all the stress out of getting dressed in the morning. Pro Tip: If it is a new outfit try it on the night before, to make sure it looks as good on as it does in your head.
- Wake up on time- This is probably the hardest one for me. I am the queen of snoozing. Though when I do that it leaves me little time to do my hair and makeup, and leaves me not feeling put together and not my best. I have yet to kick my snooze habit, so I have set my alarm back 30 minutes, so I can snooze but also be up on time to get ready without rushing. This girl HATES rushing!
- Drink a big glass of water- This is a tip I have been told so many times, and to be honest I am not good at it. They say to drink a large glass of water before coffee, but the coffee just calls my name. Though when I do drink the water (yes, that was my attempt at some humor), I feel more alert and ready to take on the day. Ok, I have convinced myself to start doing this again. How about you?
- Have the coffee ready to go- Nothing is worse than rushing around waiting for your coffee to be made when you are already on a time crunch. That is why I like to have it all ready to go and I just have to press that button and you are good to go!
- Listen to your power song- Really is there anything better than listening to that one song that can instantly make you smile? You know what song that is. Play this song and belt out all the lyrics in the morning and you will instantly start your day in a good mood! Pinky promise.
What are something you do in the morning to start your day in the right direction?
Y’all remember when I told the story of myself losing 50lbs!? Well I may have not been completely honest. I actually weighed in 0.4lbs short of my 50lb goal. I was so upset. I actually yelled F**K when I saw the number on the scale! Not my classiest moment. I had the most perfect week, but it wasn’t good enough. I fell short.
You know what I should have done? I should have picked myself up, and told myself I would get it next week and to keep kicking booty. That is what I should have done…
So what did I do? I went completely off track. I used to track my food religiously. Nope, not after coming in short and not meeting the biggest goal I had ever set for myself. I ate, ate, and ate some more. Then I drank some alcohol. I just lost all care.
You ask what about the gym? Yeah instead of going 3X a week, it easily became 1X. I had just lost all motivation to do what I knew would work. I let the emotions get the best of me.
I was going out and drinking during the week, not getting enough sleep, and eating whatever I felt like. It was neither good nor healthy. I could feel the happiness I had once had slipping through my fingers. Though for some reason I kept doing it. I could not get out of my funk. So then I start to ask myself was this all over 0.4lbs or was it something more.
You know it is always something more. It is all the emotions. I am an emotional eater, and I had come so far in knowing how to deal with my emotions and not eat them, but none of my tricks were working.
So now it has been almost a month later, and I still have not hit my 50lbs. So I proclaim to all of you that is going to change. I am back on track with the program that has gotten me so far, and back in the gym where all my anxiety goes to the wayside. I will get my 50lbs in no time because seeing that number means everything to me. It will be one of my biggest accomplishments.
This is just a small derailment on my lifetime journey. These kinds of setbacks are bound to happen, but hiding them will not help. You have to face the derailment head on. Then get back and course and learn from your mistakes.
Yes we have all said we are depressed before, but until you have seen someone and loved someone who struggles with depression day in and day out you may not really know what depression is. It is a mental and physical struggle for the person with depression, but also for all their loved ones. No one wants to see someone they love fighting a battle and not be able to help. As someone close to me struggling with depression once said “even a task as simple as feeding the dog seems hard.”
There are a few things I have learned while loving someone with depression…
- It’s a disease- I think this is probably the most overlooked thing by someone not suffering from depression or not knowing someone who does. Depression is a disease that the person has. It is just like cancer or diabetes. The person has no control over it. They are not weak. They cannot just suck it up. The person’s brain actually works differently than someone not suffering from depression. Just always be aware of this and don’t tell someone they just need to get over it. The person can’t help that they have depression.
- Don’t take it personal– This one may be the hardest for a loved one who has someone suffering with depression. You have to constantly remind yourself that their distance has nothing to do with you. They are fighting internal battle within themselves. It is easy for us as a loved one to think that we did something wrong, but at the end of the day it has nothing to do with what we did or said. It really is the mental disorder and their brain chemical imbalance. It has NOTHING to do with you.
- Tell them how much they mean to you- Not always but usually, someone struggling with depression is feeling hopeless and not good enough for anyone. You, as their loved one, know this is far from the truth, but they have blinders on and cannot see all the people that love them and find them amazing. Tell them that you love them and that you would be lost without them. Sometimes they may fight you and say no that is not true, but just stay firm on your love and admiration for them. They are so much more than their depression. At some point they will hear you.
- Tell them what you like about them- Sometimes it doesn’t have to be a deep conversation. They are already in their own heads with deep thoughts. So why not keep it light, but loving. Tell them all the small things you like about them. Tell them you love their smile. They look good! You like the shirt they are wearing. Just sometimes the small things are heard before the larger things. Be encouraging in the most authentic way. Just make sure to not overdo it. Whatever you do be genuine.
- Listen without interruption- Sometime as their loved one we think we know what’s best for them, but sometimes that is simply not true. At times it is best to just listen to them and do not speak. Do not give advice. Just be there for their rambles. Make sure they know you will not judge and you want to hear them. It does not have to be deep and about their depression. It can simply be about their lunch they had that day. It is important that they feel heard. You don’t need to bring it back to their depression all the time. Almost all their thoughts are consumed by the depression, so it’s nice when they can focus on something else. Though with that being said, if they do want to talk about it let them talk about it, and what is bothering them. Make sure you are listening to understand and to not just respond.
- Just be there in silence- There is also many times where every tasks are hard to the one struggling with depression. They do not have the energy for anything. At times they just need to be silent or to rest. As their loved one know that is ok. Just sit beside them while they sleep or watch a movie for the 5th time. It is ok for there to be silence while you support them.
- Get them help- At times the depression can get so severe you need to help them seek outside resources. There can be opposition at first, but if it is that severe it is your job to make sure they get the care they need. This can be a counselor, medication, suicide prevention. Just be aware of the treatment options because that is the last thing on your loved one struggling with depressions mind.
- Suicide is not selfish- We have all heard suicide is selfish. It is taking the “easy way out.” Though in the eyes of the depressed, they think you would be better off without them. They think they are a burden, and our lives would be easier without them. You and I both know that is not the case. In actuality our lives would be so much harder without them. There would be a hole in our heart and our lives if they weren’t there. So if they speak of suicide do not tell them they are selfish, but tell them how much you need them in your life and how much better they make your life.
It the simplest of words, just love them. Make sure they don’t feel judgement, inadequate, or less of a person because they are depressed. They are still the same person you love, they are just struggling a bit right now. Remember you loved them before, you love them during, and you’ll love them after. Never let the love you have for them waiver.